Astonishing...

Day 1 is officially almost over. Although there is an emptiness that I cannot ignore, still, I think it is for the best. No matter how many times I cry, shout, beg, hope, do such nice things to prove my love, it is never enough to keep him from doing what he wants. Funny, those memories, although continually fading, kept me from doing harm to him, kept me in love. No matter how many times I exercise, it is never enough. Well, I can't cry over what I have no control over. I guess Martha is right, I can't live with expectations, and it does not matter whether I am "in" a relationship or if there is a ring on my finger, he is going to do what he wants. I hope that this day gets easier. I hate having that feeling, that he is out and about, falling for someone who is kind, funny, and makes him happy. Then again, if that is the case, I pray to God that I never see or hear from him ever again.